Lullaby for My KinG

Somewhere out there,
Beneath the pale moonlight,
Someone's thinking of me,
And loving me tonight.

Somewhere out there,
Someone's saying a prayer,
That we'll find one another,
In that big somewhere out there.

And even though I know how very far apart we are,
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star,
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby,
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky!

Somewhere out there,
If love can see us through,
Then we'll be together,
Somewhere out there,
Out where dreams
Come true...

I Can See You :) The 2nd Star 2 The Right

The second star to the right
Shines in the night for you
To tell you that the dreams you plan
Really can come true

The second star to the right

Shines with a light that's rare
And if it's Never Land you need
It's light will lead you there

Twinkle, twinkle little star
So I'll know where you are
Gleaming in the skies above
Lead me to the one who loves me

And when you bring him my way

Each time we say "Goodnight"
We'll thank the little star that shines
The second from the right

SMILES FOR MILES :)

Tonight Sarcoma Foundation of America celebrates Miles!

Dear Jon, Nancy and Nina, smile for Miles :)



Thinking of You all :)

Dearest Miles, Sweetest Julian!

Yesterday was Valentine's day and I was thinking how It must be up there over the Rainbow, on a Kindness Star... Even though I'm one of those people who celebrate Love every day I like Valentine's....just the idea that Love too has special day, holiday, fills me with hope and makes my heart smile :)

Soooo... I was thinking of You guys, the unconditional Love your families share, Love that never dies and will tie You with your dearest ones forever! Being an incurable romantic with a huge imagination and firm belief in everything I imagine, I was smiling at all the ways You guys were using to send some extra special love to your families.


I believe your Mom felt your hugs, Miles and JuJu's Mama got her KinG's dinosaur kisses!


And Me? Everything that You two and your families have taught Me pushed Me so far that I reevaluated my whole life, people that surround Me, the way I live...and I spend my Valentine with You, My Hero and My KinG:)

I love You and miss You lots!!!! Have fun:))

Yellow by Coldplay ...must have been written for KinG JuJu!

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,
I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I've done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know you know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh all the things you do
Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know for you i bleed myself dry
For you i bleed myself dry

Its true look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you

look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine
look at the stars look how they shine for you...

You are so loved! Shine on, JuJu*

INTERNATIONAL HUG KING JUJU DAY - EXTENDED!!!

My kind Julian' s CarePage fellow supporter Lisa Brooker wrote:
As founder of the National HUG KinG JuJu Day - I am extending it to Thursday, January 24 at 11:00 CST! I know many of us will be working but we all need to take the time to stop and reflect on all that JuJu has accomplished and taught us over the last few months. We also need to send the Avery family all the LOVE and STRENGTH we can at 11:00 that day.
Please JOIN me and HUG HUG HUG everyone that means something to you and send all the love you can to Texas and to our KinG in heaven.
Love,
Lisa


KinG JuJu's favourite color is YELLOW "cause It reminds Me of Sun", so wherever You are today please wear Yellow. There are over 400 candles from 14 countries lit for Julian just now and If You'd like to light one for our KinG and his dearest just copy and paste the link below to your browser:
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=juju

Thank You,
Saša

My last posts on Miles' CarePage

I posted these "last" messages to Miles
on January 8th and 11th cause his CP will end soon.
But I will still talk to My Hero, I need to!

Jan. 11th
Hi, Miles
to add my words on Dave's about You being a hero to so many...
I never had a person I was really looking up to and be inspired by.
Respect, YES. Admiration, YES. But to think about "what would XY do if in my place" or "XY did It why can't I at least try?", NEVER. And at this point You being My Hero chapter starts:)

I find myself doing things against all odds, in spite of whatever the situation is or just BECAUSE. And It's a good thing! When I find myself not wanting to get out of bed because It's too hard I think of You getting chemo, having all possible side effects "just because" You so wished to make It through school and to your Big day. I say "just because" cause I don't think I would ever do that for school, would never think thus far that It is for ME.

My "problems" are nothing compared to Cancer but they are my battles and like Ally McBeal said, "You know what makes my problems bigger then everyone else's? They're mine." I find the truth in these words sometimes. I do fight stronger because of You and I do win my battles! Not always but I keep fighting and I don't stay in bed so much. And when I do It's not for long:) See? And I am just one person of so many! But I DO matter and You made me realize that. Thank You, Miles! I will NEVER forget You and You will ALWAYS be My hero! I say "My Hero" but will add My KinG JuJu's words and I quote: "I can share" :)

I love You, Miles!
(pls, watch over KinG Juju)

Sasha



Jan. 8th
Long time "no write&read" here;)
I still talk to You, think of You daily and I miss You so much these past weeks wishing You were still here.
I'm not smart enough to figure out this whole universe, what is and what is not and for whom. I function upon emotions not rational thinking, deciding, acting...
I choose to believe in my own Kindness Star so I know where to find You when I need You. I believe in signs You're sending to your dear Mom and I thank You for them.
I will miss your CarePage, You know cause It's comforting to come here and talk to You but wish to stay close to You "through" your Mom too and I promise not to bug her with my weirdness;)

I wish I knew You before the CNN introduced You to me so I can maybe give something back to You! You gave and still giving Me so much, Miles and I would love to be your confidant as You are mine.
Please keep your eyes on my KinG? You became and still are my one and only true Hero and JuJu is and will be my one only KinG! And If he really must go like You had to, please hold him close to your special heart. You two belong together on my Kindness Star and I am forever grateful for leading me to him.
You know what? I'm a very lucky girl to have My special Hero (thank You Miles'Mom and Dad)and My special KinG:) So, now You know.
(((((TTYL, dearest Miles)))))

Love You,

Sasha

ChAt CoRnEr :)

I'm gonna try anything to just feel better...but what?! How?!

SANTANA feat. Steven Tyler

Just Feel Better

She said I feel stranded
And I can't tell anymore
If I'm coming or I'm going
It's not how I planned it
I've got a key to the door
But it just won't open

And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
Because it never worked before
But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better

And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

She said I need you to hold me
I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one who knows me
And who doesn't ignore
That my soul is weeping

I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have a season
Round and round it goes
And every day's the one before
But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything that just feels better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better

I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I'd do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

I'm tired of holding on
To all the things I ought to leave behind, yeah
It's really getting old, and
I think I need a little help this time!

Yeah

I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better

And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

For KinG JuJu & and his sweet Mama

INXS
Never tear us apart

Don't ask me
What you know is true
Don't have to tell you
I love your precious heart

I was standing
You were there
Two worlds collided
And they could never tear us apart

We could live
For a thousand years
But if I hurt you
I'd make wine from your tears

I told you
That we could fly
cause we all have wings
But some of us don't know why

I was standing
You were there
Two worlds collided
And they could never ever tear us apart

Missing Miles

"I am doing fine because I refuse to do otherwise.
That much is mine. Attempts to extinguish my fire
thus far have only intensified it. With each crashing wave,
I plant my feet deeper in the sand and become more resolute."

Miles Levin

Loving King JuJu

Can you lay your life down, so a stranger can live?
Can you take what you need, but take less than you give?
Could you close every day, without the glory and fame?
Could you hold your head high, when no one knows your name?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say.

We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, cause you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

Can you lose everything, you ever had planned?
Can you sit down again, and play another hand?
Could you risk everything, for the chance of being alone?
Under pressure find the grace, or would you come undone?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say.

We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, cause you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, 'but you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

/Bryan Adams - Never Let Go/

I don't quite know how to say how I feel...

We'll Do It All
Everything
On Our Own
We Don't Need
Anything
Or Anyone

If I Lay Here
If I Just Lay Here
Would You Lie With Me And Just Forget The World?

I Don't Quite Know
How To Say
How I Feel

Those Three Words
I Said Too Much
They're Not Enough

If I Lay Here
If I Just Lay Here
Would You Lie With Me And Just Forget The World?

Forget What We're Told
Before We Get Too Old
Show Me A Garden That's Bursting Into Life

Let's Waste Time
Chasing Cars
Around Our Heads

I Need Your Grace
To Remind Me
To Find My Own

If I Lay Here
If I Just Lay Here
Would You Lie With Me And Just Forget The World?

Forget What We're Told
Before We Get Too Old
Show Me A Garden That's Bursting Into Life

All That I Am
All That I Ever Was
Is Here In Your Perfect Eyes, They're All I Can See

I Don't Know Where
Confused About How As Well
Just Know That These Things Will Never Change For Us At All

If I Lay Here
If I Just Lay Here
Would You Lie With Me And Just Forget The World?

/Chasing Cars - music, lyrics and performed by Snow Patrol/

Holding KinG JuJu And His Kingdom In Our Hearts

KinG JuJu

These are the words Julian's Mom Mimi posted on his hospital CarePages on March 7th 2007:

"Monday we found out our three year old little boy has a mass in his brain.Yesterday we founout that it is a tumor the size of a golf ball and that his head must be cut open in order to remove it or even just attempt to remove it, and that after the surgery my little boy wont be the same..."

Well, I don't know about the same but doctors removed the monster completely and they never touched the brain cells:) Julian and his family fought through chemo and radiation to prevent the monster from coming back. The Ugly Thing kept its dirty hands away for a while but now It somehow found Its way back to Julian's body and It doesn't seem to go away...

CarePages on December 15th 2007:

I want you to understand the pain, the anger episodes, the frustration, the few happy moments with brothers or with Mamie. I can't talk for Julian, he doesn't complain that much, his head hasn't been hurting, He does repeat often that his brain is tired. And while He cant use his legs, bend them himself, stretch them, and while He cant turn by himself in the bed, He can feel so much pain in there. I don't quite understand why since He can't use them, He
can still feel them.
He also can't pee without straining or poop, doesn't have the same sensation as He did when He was healthy. He hates going in his pull up and it makes it for many, many unsuccessful trips to the bathroom throughout the day. I want to put him in the bathtub so bad but I know it will be hard and painful. I think once He is in the water it will feel good, so we will see... He left eye is closed most of the day and if it opens, it looks to the side. He never complains or asks why. He reminds me every once in a while that one of his eyes is tired and that's why it stays closed and also that his legs are too tired. He gets angry when He is tired and ready to sleep and we make noise or if He wants to hear the tv; I mean He yells at us and says, "Can someone just be quiet?", "go away", "go talk somewhere else" and if I don't answer to my name right away He screams my name again. He eats exclusively stoffers spaghettis and meatballs, which we HAVE to have in the freezer at all time since sometimes the King wants them at 2 am... To us, the rest of the family it feels a little bit like a bootcamp leader moved in! Actually, a lot...The other kids have to be quiet most of the day...how do you keep 3 boys quiet ? They get yelled at and feel like they have to apologize to him. I especially feel bad for William who wants to love on Julian and is worried about his booboos. But then when He has had his drugs and feels good, he is the most awesome kiddo.loving, funny, playfull. I love it when He wants just one more kiss but thats it for today ... I love when he speaks "french" to Mamie.
I love it when he says to me, "I just love your smell Mama" and he snuggles his face in my neck. I love his dimples when he smiles because He says He's a stink bug.
I love when William climbs on his bed and He says, "Hi Weehiam" and wants a hug... Or when I bump him and apologize and He says "I never mind if you bump me, mama... "