Sunday, January 20, 2008

My last posts on Miles' CarePage

I posted these "last" messages to Miles
on January 8
th and 11th cause his CP will end soon.
But I will still talk to My Hero, I need to!

Jan. 11th
Hi, Miles

to add my words on Dave's about You being a hero to so many...
I never had a person I was really looking up to and be inspired by.
Respect, YES. Admiration, YES. But to think about "what would XY do if in my place" or "XY did It why can't I at least try?", NEVER. And at this point You being My Hero chapter starts:)
I find myself doing things against all odds, in spite of whatever the situation is or just BECAUSE. And It's a good thing! When I find myself not wanting to get out of bed because It's too hard I think of You getting chemo, having all possible side effects "just because" You so wished to make It through school and to your Big day. I say "just because" cause I don't think I would ever do that for school, would never think thus far that It is for ME.

My "problems" are nothing compared to Cancer but they are my battles and like Ally McBeal said, "You know what makes my problems bigger then everyone else's? They're mine." I find the truth in these words sometimes. I do fight stronger because of You and I do win my battles! Not always but I keep fighting and I don't stay in bed so much. And when I do It's not for long:) See? And I am just one person of so many! But I DO matter and You made me realize that. Thank You, Miles! I will NEVER forget You and You will ALWAYS be My hero! I say "My Hero" but will add My KinG JuJu's words and I quote: "I can share" :)

I love You, Miles!
(pls, watch over KinG Juju)


Jan. 8th
Long time "no write&read" here;)
I still talk to You, think of You daily and I miss You so much these past weeks wishing You were still here.
I'm not smart enough to figure out this whole universe, what is and what is not and for whom. I function upon emotions not rational thinking, deciding, acting...
I choose to believe in my own Kindness Star so I know where to find You when I need You. I believe in signs You're sending to your dear Mom and I thank You for them.
I will miss your CarePage, You know cause It's comforting to come here and talk to You but wish to stay close to You "through" your Mom too and I promise not to bug her with my weirdness;)

I wish I knew You before the CNN introduced You to me so I can maybe give something back to You! You gave and still giving Me so much, Miles and I would love to be your confidant as You are mine.
Please keep your eyes on my KinG? You became and still are my one and only true Hero and JuJu is and will be my one only KinG! And If he really must go like You had to, please hold him close to your special heart. You two belong together on my Kindness Star and I am forever grateful for leading me to him.
You know what? I'm a very lucky girl to have My special Hero (thank You Miles'Mom and Dad)and My special KinG:) So, now You know.
(((((TTYL, dearest Miles)))))

Love You,


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